My original posting on Polygamy in the 21st Century has brought in a lot of response, so I thought it would be good to examine some of the further issues that I believe a polygamist family would have to deal with. If you haven’t read my first posting, I suggest you read it first.

A polygamist relationship is sure to bring with it many difficulties along with the potential benefits. It might even be fair to say, that without a great deal of planning and understanding it would be much more difficult than a conventional marriage. There will always need to be a defined plan for how things are done, who gets what, and who is responsible for what to ensure that no-one in the relationship ever feels left out, or unfairly treated.

Raising The Children

Children are a blessing to any family, but children also come with a significant quantity of responsibility and headaches, trust me, I know. In a family as large as six adults, it may not be possible for one person to raise all the children, and it shouldn’t be one persons responsibility. In the beginning it may not be so difficult, but as the family grows and more and more children are brought into the family, things will most certainly become more difficult to manage.

This needs to be thought out a great deal before any children are born. In an ideal situation, the parents would be able to split responsibilities equally, with half the adults being parents and half working to provide for the family. In a worst case scenario, I believe that no parent should have to raise more than 4 children alone, although anything over 3 especially if there are large age differences can be extremely taxing.

Although it would be tempting to assign specific duties to a specific parent, or to allow each parent to care for their own children specifically, a shared marriage is based exactly on that “sharing”. Regardless of birth parent, all parents will love and care for all the children. Although I agree that there should be some room for a birth parent to specifically focus on their children, it should not always be the case. Just as one parent should not always be assigned to one set of parenting duties, and not be allowed to experience the others. For example if you have boys and girls, and some are in soccer and some in ballet, it might be tempting to assign one parent to do all the chauffeuring, or to assign one parent to soccer and one to ballet, but this then deprives the other parents from experiencing those as well.

Instead a balance should be setup, with for example one parent being responsible for soccer and ballet this week, and another parent being responsible next week, and so forth, keeping things in a rotation, and allowing each parent quality time with each child.

There should also be consideration by the working parents for the child raising parents. Child raising doesn’t clock out at 5pm, and is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. Therefore special consideration should be given to the parenting adults and the working adults should chip in and ensure that the parenting adults get every other night off, and every other weekend off.

In the event that the are less parenting adults than working adults, then each working adult should take and split their annual vacation time from work, using half for vacation and half to give a parenting adult a vacation. Which brings me to my next topic…

Enjoying Rewards Like Vacations and Bonuses

There will no doubt be some consideration given to how to best handle things like vacations and work bonuses.

Although in a Utopian society it would be ideal for all adults and all children to be able to always go on vacation together, but that is a Utopian society which we have yet to achieve. In reality trying to schedule time off work, babysitters, etc. for six adults is going to be a nightmare. Therefore it’s going to be imperative that a schedule be created which is fair to everyone. The schedule of course will depend greatly on the family itself. A family with a combined income of $100,000 will be able to afford less than a family with a combined income of $500,000.

Lets say for example that each year the family can afford to send one couple on a nice vacation, and the other two couples on a modest vacation. The way to arrange this fairly might be:

Year 1

Nice	Modest	Modest
Husband 1	Husband 2	Husband 3
Wife 1	Wife 2	Wife 3

Year 2

Nice	Modest	Modest
Husband 2	Husband 3	Husband 1
Wife 3	Wife 1	Wife 2

Year 3

Nice	Modest	Modest
Husband 3	Husband 1	Husband 2
Wife 2	Wife 3	Wife 1

Now you will probably notice that in my example I rotate the husbands and the wives in different directions down the table. The purpose for this is to ensure that every husband and every wife get to vacation together, and every person gets to enjoy a nice vacation every three years.

Beyond vacations, there will also be things such as prizes won, bonuses from work, and such. Financial rewards I will discuss later, for now lets look at actual material rewards.

Although it may be tempting to say the reward belongs to the person that earned the reward, it may create a level of jealousy, especially with the parenting adults, and some people may be in a position to earn more rewards. For example a radio talk show host is probably going to receive a lot more gifts from sponsors and such than a chef at a restaurant even though they may have the same income level.

In order to resolve this, a table of rewards should be setup similar to what the vacation schedule looks like, but you would need to add a category for price of the gift. For example you could have a table for items under $500, items under $2500, items under $10,000, and items over $10,000. Each list would have it’s own sorting, and you should try to avoid having the same person start each list, instead balance it so that each person starts a specific list, once a reward is awarded in that list, then that list rotates, and the others stay where they are.

How you do it specifically should be defined at the beginning of the relationship, so there is no miss understanding and hurt feelings later on.

Managing The Budget

Like any marriage, finances are bound to be one of the most difficult parts of a polygamist relationship.  Imagine if two people have a hard time agreeing on money, how six is going to be.  This is again where an extensive amount of preplanning needs to come into play.

Each person in the relationship should be considered to contribute equally regardless of income, and thus gain equally from all finances placed into the family.  How you do this exactly I’m not certain, but I have some ideas.  First you need to balance everything out based on need, for example, the parenting adults may need minivans to drive the children around, where the working adults may need much smaller and cheaper cars to get to work.  A base should be set for each class regardless of the individual.  In addition all child expenses, household costs, etc. should be added into a lump cost.  So lets say you estimate the family needs 2 minivans, 1 truck, and 3 cars.  Base payment amounts for these should be added to the overall budget.

Once all basics costs are paid, a fixed amount should be put into a retirement fund for the entire family.  For this you will probably have to setup a trust fund of sorts or at least a family trading account.   But the fund should be equal to all, and rights to the fund should probably have been established in a prenup just in case.

Once everything that the family needs is paid for, then and only then should an equal portion of remaining funds be distributed to each adult family member equally.  This money can then be used by each family member as they see fit for their needs.  If for example adult 1 “needs” an XBOX 360 in their room, they can purchase that out of their one, if adult 2 “needs” a nicer car, they can cover the extra out of their money.  This ensures that everyone has equal, but everyone also has a chance to gain personal possessions for themselves as well and maintain some individualism. 

I would also suggest that the family put away at least 10% of any remaining funds into an emergency fund until such time as the family has at least 6 months of income in reserve, this ensures that if any one or multiple family members become unable to bring in income, the family has time to make adjustments.

When financial bonuses are earned at work, these should be contributed to the family fund and divided as any standard funds would be.  Each member of the family is equal and in their own ways had to support the person earning the bonus so they could earn it, therefore it is not prudent to the relationship for greed to enter the equation.

Sex

This will probably be the next most difficult topic that this type of family would have to deal with.  It’s certainly easier if there is one male and three females or one female and three males, but in the proposed 3 x 3 relationship this becomes more difficult.  In a way you almost have to schedule things, wives will of course have that time of the month, and they should not be expected to perform during that time.  Men will undoubtedly feel they can’t get enough.  You could setup a schedule something like the vacation schedule where each partner rotates with the others, and this may actually work to prevent issues with someone feeling someone else is hogging another partner, but it may also be best to have a primary partner, and then have rotations two nights per week.  Those each husband would have a primary partner in a wife, and then two nights per week, could share their bed with another partner.  This would be setup on a schedule, but nights could fluctuate as needed for mother nature. 

This of course would require agreement on primary partners before anyone was added to the marriage so as not to force anyone into a relationship they do not want.

Clearly entering into this type of relationship will require a very healthy sex drive.  I think that it should be determined that for example unless previously arranged no partners share another partner on the same day, and protection should be used by all partners for safety and to avoid unwanted pregnancy.

In Closing

I can only imagine the logistical difficulties in this type of relationship, from finances, to travel, to bedroom allocation.  It requires a strong bond to survive in this type of relationship, and excellent communication skills.  Everything you do needs to basically be a contract, put in place and agreed to by all to ensure that all members know what is expected and what to expect.

As always I welcome your feedback on these thoughts.

Andrew

It seems like we can’t go more than a few minutes these days without hearing about how the world is ending in one way or another, be it oil prices climbing through the roof or shortages of food reaching America. Many people would have you cower in your home, barricade your doors, and prepare for the end of the world, but I want to show you some ideas on how you can actually use these events to prosper.

In part one we will examine the current food “shortage” effecting everything from corn to soy, and how you can use these shortages to strategically invest for short and long term gains.

The Situation

Various factors around the world are causing the price of food to sky rocket, with some items rising in cost over 60% in the last year alone and with an overall increase in food cost of rising about 4% per year according to the Consumer Price Index 2007 with a real increase to consumers of 17-46% across the board when you count in other factors tacked on by groceries stores such as higher shipping cost, increased labor costs, etc. Although some factors that are causing price increases are temporary, many like ethanol production, reduced farm land, and population increase are here to stay.

As more and more news of rising food costs, shortages of rice, wheat, corn, and soy have hit the wires, more and more people are beginning to look towards the future and stock pile their food items, causing an even greater shortage of the very food items they are worried will run short.

How To Gain

While the world is running around convinced we will all die of starvation because of the rice prices, you can stand to the side, eagerly watching, learning, and when the time is right, gaining from the disarray left in the wake of all the panic. All it takes is a little pre-planing, and you’ll be set.

This opportunity proves positive for both the conservative investor and the ambitious investor. On the conservative side, 4% growth rate (projected between 3.5% and 4.5% for 200 can provide a very nice return rate in a relatively save way that is nearly double what many government bonds and bank CD’s are offering these days. On the ambitious side, taking a gamble on the continued rise of rice, corn, or even vegetable oil is likely to pay gains far in excess of a mutual fund or 401k, and offers a far greater security blanket than any stock market investment.

You can start investing in the food market with just a little money every time you go shopping, or you can ensure bigger gains by investing larger sums and going direct to producers/distributors.

To Get Started

First you are going to need someplace to store your investment. Unlike stocks, bonds, and CD’s, you can’t really put a bushel of corn in the bank. The amount of space is going to depend entirely on what it is you are buying, caviar is going to require less space per dollar than rice. Remember that renting storage space is going to eat into your profits, so it’s best to use only the space you have.

Second you need to pick one or more items you plan to invest in, some top choices right now might be Rice, Corn, Wheat, and Soy Vegetable oil. Dried products are going to be the easiest to store, and frozen or perishable items should be avoided unless you see a short term gain potential and have sufficient space to store them.

Third and most importantly you need to keep your stash secret, if the world does end, you don’t want your door being the first one thugs come knocking on to get food.

Some Hypothetical Examples

1. Lets say that you have an area in your garage that is 5′ x 10′ which you plan to use for your stock pile, and your planning to purchase Basmati rice which is currently selling in 20# bags for $15.62 at the local Sam’s club. Now based on a rough estimate from the bag we just bought, this will take up about .75 cubic feet in your storage area, so you can fit in about 400 bags floor to ceiling. That’s a total investment of $6,248.00 before tax (here we don’t have food tax). If rice continues to rise as it has at 62% per year, then you could potentially have nearly $16,398 worth of rice in only two years. Of course you would have to sell it under market value to get people to buy it, but you have the potential to rake in profits well over 100% in only 2 years.

2. This time lets examine something a little more stable, say Vegetable Oil. In December of 2006 when I was running my catering business, a 1.25 gallon jug of Wesson Vegetable oil was running for just under $6.00. Had I purchased lets say 100 jugs, and kept them properly stored, those jugs today would be worth about $988.00. I might not be able to find an active market for Vegetable Oil on Craig’s List yet, but I could have used that oil in my business saving me a cost of $388 this year.

In Conclusion

While the world is panicked and convinced that we will all starve to death, keep your head cool, and you can easily take a little investment and make profit.

The world has changed a great deal in the last hundred years, what was once a hush hush secret has become mainstream for both men and women.  Today I want to take a look at where we are, and where we are still going in the open expression of our sexuality as an American Society.

It never ceases to amaze me how the world tends to go through cycles when it comes to our sexuality, from the Greeks and Romans being open about sex to the first American’s marking and sometimes even executing people for their sexuality.  While most modern societies have not returned to the open “gratification” models of many B.C. civilizations, we have come a long way in a rather short period of time.

Open Discussion:

The Past - As recently as the last hundred years, and in many areas even the last thirty or so years, discussion of sex, sexuality, and pleasure was purely off limits.  It was not a subject that was discussed outside the bedroom if at all and could easily land you in hot water if you dared to discuss it.  Many people felt that sex was dirty, and should never be mentioned in polite society. 

Today - We aren’t as open as some cultures yet, but it isn’t hard to find open discussion of sexuality these days.  Turn on your TV and you can find anything from call in shows answering couples questions about sex, to full out hard core sex movies.  Although interestingly it seems that while we can now freely discuss with our friends our sexual exploits, we still have a great deal of difficulty discussing our needs and desires with our significant others.

The Future - As time progresses I feel that people will eventually become more open with their significant others about their sexual desires, but for this to happen we as a society need to get out of the mind set that one partner is only there to please the other, this is especially true with women who for centuries were taught it wasn’t their place to enjoy their sexual encounters, but merely to be there to serve the needs of their partner.

I think that it’s very important, especially in new relationships, or relationships that are faltering in their physical sides for the couple to set aside time specifically to discuss their sexuality with each other.  It may be hard at first, but as time goes, you will learn to appreciate each others input.  If you find it awkward, try getting online together and talking about it from different rooms on IM.  You can always start with a simple set of questions for each other, such as tell me one of each of these:  Something that turns you on, something you desire more of or want to try, and something you want less of or none at all.

You will probably start out with simple answers, but more than likely as time progresses and you become more comfortable with each other, your answers will get more and more liberal and you body will thank you!

It’s also important for future generations that we teach our children that it’s ok to discuss their desires with their partner, they don’t need to be bashful or ashamed when they grow older and mature into relationships to express their needs and desires.

 

Hetro, Gay, Bi?

The Past - until the last few years admitting that you were anything but a devout heterosexual could get you killed, even today it’s still a somewhat risky choice.  What some have called deviant sexual behaviour has been associated with many diseases, burning in hell, and numerous other negative images.  Although many ancient civilizations practiced open sexuality between men and men, women and women, and practically any combination of two or more in between, this openness died off rather quickly and was replaced by shame and humiliation and ofter death for anyone that dared to discuss such possibilities.  Even the bible makes reference to anything but heterosexual encounters being sin.

Today - Today we are better about being open and understanding, there are many openly gay or bi sexual couples in any neighborhood around America.  We don’t hesitate generally to say we have a gay friend, many of us have gay family members as well.  There is however still a great deal of negativity regarding anything but a standard heterosexual relationship, and society has spent centuries building wall after wall to prevent such relationships from being able to thrive in open society.

The Future - As we push forward into the 21st Century I believe we will continue to find society more and more accepting of different desires by different people, however I don’t foresee complete open acceptance of anything other than heterosexual relationships for the foreseeable future.  Unlike many things that were taboo, this topic has been purely off limits for so long, and has had so many work to prevent it’s ever even being mentioned that it will still probably take another hundred years for all of the barriers to come down.  While many people openly “accept” gay couples, they still cringe at the idea of those same couples being married, or sharing the tax and health care advantages of being married. 

Unlike the discussion of sexuality, sexual orientation has a great deal running against it, from the bible, to diseases that are spread more easily by certain types of sexual encounters, to the general disgust some people feel when confronted with even walking by someone that is openly gay.

We need a lot of work in this area, some of it by the very people that seek more freedom to express their orientation.  In today’s society, Lesbian’s and Bi-Sexuals are arguably more accepted than gay men.  This is really brought on by a few things:

1.  Lesbians are considered “hot” to most men, who really aren’t as turned on by the fact that they are lesbian, than by their wishful fantasies of having two women in the bed.\

2.  Lesbians are seen as less risque and promiscuous as gay men are.  You don’t often hear about women who arrange to meet up in airport bathrooms to have sex with several men on a layover, etc.

3.  Bi-Sexuals appeal to both men and women.  Bi-Sexual women appeal to men because they hope it will land them a two-some, Bi-Sexual men appeal to women who are curious about women, but still desire a man.

4.  Gay men have a bad tendency of being in the news for their bathroom encounters, sleeping with underage boys, and having affairs outside their marriage.

5.  Gay men aren’t generally found “hot” by anyone other than other gay men.

6.  Gay men are often attributed with spreading aids and it is a fact that unprotected anal sex which is often a result of gay relationships has a very high risk level associated with diseases.

Until we clean up this image that has been associated with gay men, we will likely never have complete acceptance of any kind of non-hetro relationship.

Personal Pleasure

The Past - For the last few hundred years men have dominated the scene, depressing women into an inferior roll in society and treating them as far below their equals in every manor including sexual gratification.  Although dildo’s have been around since the day of the caveman (stone and wood, don’t sound great, but neither did the ones made of tar), we went through a few hundred years in recent times up until even the 90’s where women gaining pleasure from sexual encounters was forbidden let alone having “toys” that were designed for the pure purpose of bringing her physical pleasure.  Men have had it far better although not yet perfect.  Masturbation by men is to this day still somewhat taboo and even as children we are often taught that doing such horrible deeds may lead to incurrable blindness!

Today - Most societies generally accept that sex should be enjoyed by both partners equally, even snoop dog the rapper has a hit describing how he’s going to make sure he brings his girl to orgasm before he finishes.  Although many women of all things still balk at the idea of a man masturbating, I have yet to meet one in the last decade that didn’t have a collection of dildos and vibrators to help her achieve maximum pleasure by herself or with her partner.  In fact many couples these days find toys to be an integral part of their regular encounters.

However there are still a great number of individuals and couples that are afraid to experience personal pleasure.  Mostly because they are afraid that something they desire will be considered weird, or won’t be accepted by their partner.

The Future - The future looks promising for personal pleasure.  There are entire industries these days coming up with all kinds of new ways for individuals and couples to experience more pleasure from their encounters.  Women have come a long way in gaining back their rightful place in society and a good deal of men are now taught from birth to ensure their female partners are fully satisfied and cared for sexual.  But we still have a long way to go, these days the most difficult barrier to get through is the one of being ashamed to enjoy ones self.

Personal pleasure will come along probably more rapidly than any other aspect of relationships because it’s the one part that most effects all of us.  Once we are able to break through our barriers of being afraid to ask for what we want, or find our own ways of pleasuring ourselves, we will truely blossom and couples everywhere will find themselves in the bedroom more and more.

Pornography

The Past - Pornography has always been something of an interesting issue, women are offended by men looking at pictures of other naked women, preachers teach that we are violating God’s will, and so forth.  Until the dark ages it was common place to create and public post art that depicted both naked women and men.  Come the dark ages and control by the “church” this practice went away and today is still somewhat taboo.  Although men have idolized other men for posing in the nude, women have been publicly scorned for being a part of such creations, even by the men who gained pleasure from those very same women.

Today - As things would go this is one interesting subject matter, on one hand pornography is far more main stream these days, no longer limited to dark and dingy.  Full scale production companies now specialize in pornography specifically for couples and more and more companies are producing content aimed primarily at women.  But as luck would have it, pornography is still hush hush, the church still preaching against it, and women still deploring it in public.  The funny thing is, women don’t really deplore it because it’s pornography, but more because they feel they can’t live up to the images of the women men are seeing.  Although at the same time, many women are obsessed with romance novels, many of which just as graphical as pornography, only using words.  What most women don’t realize is that scientific study and scientific study has shown that the female mind actually responds in the exact same way to romance novels as a man’s mind responds to pornographic pictures, so in reality they are enjoying pornography, just not the same kind as men and their visual minds do.

The Future - Pornography has been on the move for some time now, becoming more and more geared towards couples as it moves further and further into the main stream.  Pornography can bring spice into relationships, helping to excite the body, and bring even more pleasure to couples.  If kept in moderation and used for the good of both partners, pornography in the relationship has a strong chance of survival.  Many companies these days are taking Hollywood level production crews to making content for both men and women, combining the visual elements that stimulate men with the novelistic elements that stimulate women.

Although there is still a strong stigma surrounding the word “Pornography”, the actually art form has come a long way and is making new strides every day in becoming mainstream for individuals and couples, men and women, to enjoy.  I think that as we round out the decade we will begin to see a great deal of headway made into making pornography in it’s various art forms a part of every bedroom.  As long as it’s kept in moderation, and the couple still maintains their focus on each other, it can be very healthy indeed.

 In Closing

We have come a long way, but we still have a long way to go.  Sexual gratification which was once completely off limits is coming of age and is bringing with it many new experiences for couples to enjoy.  Pleasures that we are seeing now haven’t been openly experienced for hundreds of years, and as we continue to learn and experiment with our bodies together, we will find new and more exciting ways to bring the art of making love back into our relationships, replacing boredom with adventure, monotony with excitement.

 

I know this one comes a little late in the showing of this movie, but things have just been so hectic lately that we haven’t been able to squeeze out in a while for a movie.  For this particular movie we took everyone but McKayla.

Overview:

Nim is an 11 year old girl who lost her oceanographer mother to the ocean and lives on a remote deserted island with just her father another oceanographer.  They have kept the island their secret until her dad goes missing and Nim is forced to seek the help of an author who writes a series of adventure books she loves.

Story:

The story is cute, perdictable for adults, but the children all seemed to love the overall story line, even Andrea got into the story, although Justin seemed less enamored with it than Andrea and Brooke.

Acting:

The acting in this movie was so so, probably not on any of the stars top lists.  I don’t know specifically why, but they just didn’t seem real, every one of them seemed to be “forcing” themselves into the part.  I would say Abigail Breslin did the best job, and Gerard Butler did the worse, with Jodie Foster pulling one of her worst performances in a long time.

The Good:

The kids all enjoyed the movie immensly and we parents found it entertaining enough not to get bored through the movie.

The Bad: (Major Spoiler)

The ending was TERRIBLE, one of the worst movie endings I have ever seen, both Brandi and I just couldn’t believe that was how they really did the ending.  It’s like they got through the movie, and after making a rather decent movie realized they had 30 seconds left to finish the movie and end it.  Ugg!

So as a male I have often been asked if I supported Polygamy, and I can see how that on the front sounds like a question every guy would probably answer yes to, but I never have. To me there has never been a question as to whether I would “cheat” on my spouse or not, even if it wasn’t considered cheating. That’s always been kind of like “having cybersex online isn’t really having an affair” or “oral sex doesn’t count as sex”, it was just a no brainer.

But having said that, I have recently thought more about the subject after the recent news of the compound in Texas, and honestly I can see benefits and disadvantages to Polygamy in modern society. (Now Brandi if your reading this, I am not suggesting any changes here)

First off lets look at what is wrong with Polygamy as it is today:

• In almost every case today, the wives are forced into marriage at a very young age.
• Women are almost never allowed to have multiple husbands, only the men can have multiple wives.
• The relationships are often abusive on wives and children.
• The men often feel they are above all others.
• Religion is generally forced upon those involved, and it’s usually a very harsh religion.

Now having said all of that, Polygamy in and of itself isn’t all bad, it may take a bit of thinking outside the box, but honestly it wasn’t that hard to start thinking up some benefits for both men and women.

Let’s look at what could be considered good in today’s polygamy relationships:

• No mom ever has to do everything alone, there’s always someone there to help out
• Women are never solely responsible for the physical well being of their husband, if they have a headache, no biggy, there is someone else there to help out.
• Children always have someone to take them somewhere, got 6 boys and and 6 girls, no problem, someone can take the boys to soccer, the girls to dance, and still have someone home to help with the house.
• You never have to worry about having someone around to talk to that knows all your husbands bad habits, everyone will understand because they have to live with him to.

Those are great benefits in some degree, but really, this whole polygamy thing could really use a 21st century upgrade if it’s ever going to be useful or desired. Polygamy today leaves so much to be desired in the fairness category, and really in the benefits to all category. But that doesn’t mean with just a bit of work we couldn’t easily fix it up to be something nearly everyone would see some benefit in.

Steps to fix polygamy:

1. This deal needs to go both ways, if men can do it, why not women to? Lets set some realistic rules here, each husband can have three wives and each wife can have three husbands. Now before you freak out, lets think about this, really it’s win win! Each husband has a variety of wives to meet each of his needs, be it physical or mental, and each wife has a variety of husbands to help her in life and fulfill her needs. Maybe she needs a big strong man to satisfy her physically, but she also needs a caring sensitive man to care for her emotionally. Now this could get a bit tangled in the family line deal, so here is how I think you could work this out. Only a single man and a single woman can start a new family, they then must be married for a term of not less than three years before they can begin to expand the family. Each spouse is allowed one or two nights per week to go out on a date, they will each have a set budget, and the date must understand that it’s a polygamist relationship. Each is allowed three dates with a person alone, before they must include their spouse. After ten dates, both spouses must agree that the person they are dating is a potential member of the family, if not then the process goes back to step one with a different person. Only when both spouses agree that a further marriage should take place can either spouse add a husband or wife. In order to keep things fair, no spouse may have more than one spouse greater than their other spouse at any time, and if a spouse rejects more than five dates after 10 weeks, then the spouse that is behind a spouse can force the other spouse to choose from a selection of three possible new spouses. After a second wife and a second husband is added, the process continues, but requires that the new spouses also approve of any future spouses.
2. Equality in work is a requirement, there is no reason that the men should be able to work and the women have to stay home. Even if all six spouses wish to work, this should be allowed, each would then contribute a portion of their income to the family coffers to help offset any cost of daycare, house repairs, etc.
3. No children should be knowingly conceived without the approval of all other family members and no husband shall have more than one wife pregnant at any time.
4. Religion should be freely exercised in the relationships, no spouse should force their religion on any other. Children may be guided in a religion agreed to by both birth parents, but should be allowed to freely choose their religion by the age of twelve.
5. No person under the age of twenty one years should be allowed to start or join a polygamist relationship. No spouse may be married that is greater than ten years younger than the oldest member of the relationship and no more than ten years older than the youngest member.
6. Only primary spouses may initiate dating with a potential new spouse.

These are just a few things I can think of that need to be fixed to make polygamy work, but in all reality it wouldn’t be that hard to create a fair and equal polygamist relationship that is beneficial to all members of the family, man and woman, adult and child alike. If someone where to take the time to really lay down some ground rules that were fair to everyone I think you would see the following benefits and disadvantages to polygamy.

Benefits:

• Larger families can help each other take care of each other, raising the kids isn’t left to just two over worked parents.
• Financial burdens are eased by having multiple bread winners and multiple care takers living under one roof.
• Never does any one spouse have to feel like they have to meet every need of the other spouse. Instead they can focus on their strong points and bring that to all the relationships.
• You always have friends to hang out with, no more watching the ballet by yourself, take the other wives; no more being the only guy on the block that’s watching the game.
• Children have more people to help nurture and care for them, or real life experience to gain knowledge from, more people to form the home soccer team, more at home friends to play with and learn life’s values from.
• You can share many of life’s responsibilities, giving everyone a little more time to just enjoy life.
• You never have to face things alone, one of your spouses will always be there to help you stand strong.

Disadvantages:

• Jealousy will always be an issue until we can overcome the hundreds of years of training we have gone through as a society
• Picking new spouses could be difficult and trying, each spouse adds one more personality to the mix, and it takes a certain mindset to become part of a larger existing family and treat everyone in it as your own.
• Could be confusing for children unless all parents agree on a firm set of guidelines for child raising.
• Insurance might be difficult until companies recognize the family unit.
• How do you file that on your taxes?

Final Thoughts:

Although the likelyhood that polygamy will ever become popular again, I think it certainly provides an interesting debate on how a family could be created with multiple adults, and how that may actually in many ways benefit society as a whole. The entire idea of sharing between six adults provides an amazing number of difficulties which would almost have to be worked out in an extensive contract like manor, for how to fold the towels, to how many nights a week any one spouse may sleep with another. There could be an entire industry around creating family contracts.

But in the long run, I think everyone should have a choice as to how they wish to raise their family, for myself I am not sure I could ever consider polygamy as a way of life, but I could certainly see arguments for it.